Response to Keleia Clark #3- JH Rose

Hi Keleia, I would just like to offer you some suggestions on how to strengthen your paper. First I would go back and refer to Alzheimer’s fully as Alzheimer’s Disease. Also, there are a lot of grammatical errors in the form of sentence structures and endings. For instance, the first sentence could be reworded to something like, “Alzheimer’s Disease is a progressive disease that attacks the brain and nerve cells, which leads to memory loss and a change of thinking, language, and behavior.” Overall, I think the best thing for you to do would be to try and sit down with your teacher and see if they are willing to proofread your essay and give you some direction on where to take it further. They should be able to help you form some better sentence structures and correct the grammatical errors. It seems like you have the basic Ideas of your paper down but you just need to expand further on these ideas by speaking on what you have learned through your research. I hope this was helpful. Good luck on writing your paper and don’t hesitate to ask for assistance!

Response to Keleia Clark #2 – JH Rose

Hi Keleia! I’m just checking in on you again to see how your project is going. Are you having any troubles or do you have any questions that you’d like to ask me? I haven’t seen much activity on your site in a while and I was just wondering how your project is going. Again, I’m looking forward to your next entry!

Response To Keleia Clark #1- JH Rose

Hi Keleia! My name is Blayne and I am going to be your online writing consultant. I think you have a really good project idea that could possibly help out many people. I just have a few questions for you to consider when revising your paper at a later date. First, what is your audience? If it is other teens, what do you want them to feel empowered to do after reading your paper? Research is very important to writing a strong paper and gathering your resources. Have you been able to find any resources that you plan to use in your research? I think you have the beginnings of a great project in place and I’m eager to see how your project turns out.

I’m looking forward to your next entry!

Blayne